Snippets from my Diaries

Who knows, maybe I will become a legend. 😉 Hahahaha!


JULY 26, 2012

While I was happily cutting up shapes from felt cloth, I couldn’t help but think that another era is ending in my life. One by one, the people I grew up with are entering a new phase in their lives and I might be on the verge of going mental because, whether I like it or not, things will change and I might not be able to cope. So for as long as we are on the same page, I really take time to be there and have a big part in their lives. You know?



Sweeping declaration: I don’t need a partner. At least not right now. I am very capable of doing and accomplishing things on my own. If I were going to be mayabang, then I would say that I can do the things and ministries assigned to me by myself quite excellently.

Having a boyfriend right now would only weigh me down. And I say that not out of bitterness or even a trace of envy. I’m just glad I haven’t screwed up big time and there’s nothing tainting my slate. So there.





Galatians 6:1-10– The Xaris Version

Fellow walkers in the faith, those who are more attuned to the Holy Spirit among us should carefully lead back ‘strayers’ with much grace and love. Just be sure that the matters you concern yourself with will not cause you to fall. It would be better if you would help pick up the slack along with the brother rather than just pointing it out and leaving it at that. That’s not a very Christian thing to do.

Don’t think you’re above the lesson or that you’ve already mastered it thus making it easy for you to unburden another. You’re not all that. If you look closely, your past victories weren’t even yours. If you understand they came from God, then you’d better look at yourself in God’s perspective. He gives out individual burdens, therefore unique, individual lessons.

It would be good if you can learn your lesson, teach it to others and share insights even to those who seem to have had more experience.

Now if you think you can get away with just saying one thing and doing the other, think again. The Lord knows better. You will get what you deserve. If you’re doing good just because it feels good or that it is beneficial to you, then get ready to be found out. When your heart is revealed, you better watch out. But if you invest in doing good things to bring a smile to the Lord’s face, then the Lord Himself will make His face shine upon you.

So don’t wonder if the Christian things you do have any value. Just keep doing it and make it as natural as breathing. If you keep it up, the Lord will reward you at the exact time He deems to give the reward. Don’t consider when is the best time to do good and who is the best crowd to display it to. Just do it. Keep on doing it even if it is among  fellow Christians who can see you week in and week out.

The Legend of Billy the Eagle

I don’t usually say it out loud (too often if at all) but I like hanging out with our Pastor. So because of his injury a few days ago, we decided to come visit him after SOL Finals just to update him of our activities in the last two days we haven’t seen each other. Hahaha, yes, clingy much.  Over late dinner and ice cream in his house, we were able to cover topics from how the finals went, who would probably pass (not Jessa, hahaha) and whatever else we did since we were last together.

Our story-telling eventually led to pet-tales and the legend of Billy the Eagle.

Some say it was a true story. It’s hard to say, really. But for the sake of anyone reading this, this is the tale of Billy the Eagle…

There was once a magician who had an assortment of birds and reptiles in his home– magic lair, if you will. He became amused with this high school boy from Caloocan who was equally fascinated by the wonders of magic and animals. This magician owned a Philippine eagle. There was a time when eagles roamed the sky (at least some owner’s patch of the sky) free. Because the magician grew fond of the boy, he gave him the eagle. The boy hurriedly cleared out his pigeons in their cage and made it the new home of Billy the eagle. Billy and the boy bonded, and Billy was well fed with critters and chickens and monkeys and fish.

One day, because the boy outgrew his fascination with the eagle, Billy felt like it was time to fly. And Billy the eagle is now the logo in one dome along Katipunan Avenue.

Hahaha, okay, that wasn’t how the story went but some parts of it are really hard to absorb! I think Pastor Dave is rummaging in his photos of yore to locate proof of this amazing tale. Not that we doubt him but there’s always something about his stories of boyhood that are hard to believe.

Like he’s a batang kalye. Or that he collected texts and comics. Or that he was the gagamba-gangster-head in Cebu. Or that he was a pigeon-master!

Because when you look at Pastor Dave now, it’s just hard to place. But I do love when he talks about things like that. It makes him relate-able and human. Our conversation went to street games we played as kids. He talked about the 70s while most of us recalled the 90s. It’s just really great that we were all part of that generation where games actually required social interaction and physical sweat and tears (and blood, sometimes!).

Even when Pastor Dave was confined in a plastic cast and had to hobble around in crutches, we had a grand time reliving childhoods decades apart.  And for a short moment, it felt really awesome to have played luksong tinik, luksong baka, syato, taguan, agawan base, habulan, luksong lubid, chinese garter… collected gumamela, santan, salagubang, tutubi… ate through candies and chichirya… with these grown ups we looked up to.

I had to ask around his family if they knew Billy the Eagle. They confirmed the verity of the tale. It’s pretty awesome, too because then we’d know  that we’d probably grow up in stature anyway because the leader we’re following turned out to be a great Christian leader.

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‘There’s an eagle… when you look inside your heart…’

Warm Bodies

Let’s see how far I can go without drooling over the cuteness that is Nicholas Hoult, shall we?

It was a cold, rainy Sunday night when my new neighbors invited me to their place to hang out. Well, to be truthful, I invited myself over. It’s such a thrill to finally have people you know live in your block.

We decided to watch a movie and I volunteered to pick it out so I can screen from the list. Cartoons and action movies are ruled out. And because I’m not a fan of scary movies, thrillers are out, too. I wanted to see a chick-flick (sometimes we all just need to chill out and not think) and the closest title to my recollection of rom-coms was, you got it, Warm Bodies.

Warm Bodies is only kind of okay save for Nicholas Hoult and the moral of the story. The gist is there’s a zombie guy who liked this human girl. The zombie guy, R, ate off the brains of human girl, Julie’s boyfriend. R gets glimpses of human memories from eating the brain and somehow pangs of emotion on the side. He rescues Julie from the zombie mob and keeps her hidden in an abandoned plane. So they hang out and bond and develop crazy feels. Which is a lot to say for R who is apparently undead and cannot feel nor articulate anything (sounds like any average dude, hahaha).

Julie is in turn nice to R, which gives R warmth. The zombie mob eventually develop a heartbeat from the example of Julie and R. They get patches of memories and as a clincher to their state of deadness, they get to have dreams. (Everybody go, awww)

Sometimes, I’d like to get reminded that this world we live in is a cemetery. There are a lot of walking dead people. Some of them have great jobs, nice families, good things going on for them but until God breathes life into them, they’re just like that. Alive but dead.

Sin does that to a person. The wages of sin is death. Death means separation from God and while that doesn’t sound too dire, in reality it is. I think the worst part of it is that you are actually dead and can’t do anything about it. No matter how well you try to live your life, it will all become meaningless and disastrous in the end.

That is why it’s a high calling for people who have life breathed into them, once-dead people who now have Jesus Christ in their lives, live out a living existence. So that people could see that there’s a difference with just living and life in Christ.

How many out there would love to dream or feel or live with purpose. People changed by the love of God are the warm bodies this world needs. It’s our duty as salt and light of the world to prove that there’s more to life than this, whatever it is they’ve settled for.

I guess my new neighbors and I have a huge assignment down the projects. 😉

Get Over Yourself

I caught a virus over the weekend. I do not know what it’s called nor do I have plans of finding out what it is but it just drains me of too much energy. Thankfully, I still have some to spare because my sense of responsibility just keeps niggling at me. I hate that sometimes. I wish I could just call in sick and not have to worry about work I’ve left unfinished.

And there’s a TON.


I still have time to blog. How you ask? Maybe because it’s the only thing I can handle right now that does not involve too much thought. My brain literally (I mean literally like it pulsates. Imagine Krang of TMNT; my brain feels like that) hurts whenever I have to focus on one item on my to-do list. I feel powerless. This is the only thing I can get my hands on that would actually feel like an accomplishment.


God’s grace is sufficient for me. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I like hanging on to grace. It’s the only thing that keeps me afloat. Praise God for His is always, always enough for me.


“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.  No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” ~Matthew 5:14-16 (NLT)


I came across this book called Searching for Mrs. Oswald Chambers by Martha Christian. It’s about Mrs Biddy Chambers, the woman behind the man who wrote My Utmost for His Highest. Since I started using this devotional book for straight days (I kept avoiding it for as long as I can remember because that one time I read it, I found it too heavy and decided that I’m not *that* kind of Christian yet [I was young, what?]), I have found a new leap to my walk with Jesus.


Anyway, Faith and I were browsing through titles in an OMF  bookstore during lunch break and talking about Pastor’s Wife mechanics. I had no intentions of purchasing anything save for the Ilocano Bible I was going to give to a friend. The title just jumped out from the shelf and I could not resist not buying. I haven’t finished reading it; I haven’t even gone past twenty pages but this particular paragraph made me tear up…


‘Biddy Chambers kept the flame of faith in Jesus Christ burning. She lived what she believed, and others saw Christ in her eyes. The reflection of the light of Christ shines in the faithful ones who follow the path of the Cross, and Biddy Chambers mirrored the love of Jesus Christ.’


The whole time I was reading those lines my thought was, ‘I pray that when God calls me home, these words will be said of me, too.’ If only that meant Jesus Christ was evident in me and that I reflected the Son in my life.


This morning, I woke up earlier than my alarm clock but I just laid still and listened to praise and worship music. The Lord prompted me last night to get on my knees (literally) and pray for the items on my list. It’s a challenge I accepted knowing that it would be simple to get on my knees while praying. It’s not rocket science and it’s definitely not an aerobic activity; how hard can it be?

I signed up for the prayer chain in my church and picked the 6:30 am slot just to stretch myself into committing wee hours (I consider it wee hours, haha) into prayer and fasting. Anyway, as I was listening to music, I had my eyes closed and decided to wait for my alarm to go off before I start praying. And then I felt weird pain in my stomach. It wasn’t of hunger. In fact, I couldn’t recognize what kind of pain it was but I had to hunch over and hold my sides. At first, the pain was manageable and it went away as soon as it had come.

I didn’t think much of it whenever the pain went away but as I was getting on my knees, I felt something assault me that I had to hang on the edge of my bed. I got back to my knees but found that they were hurting (which is crazy because I’ve only been kneeling for ten seconds!) so I figured maybe I was too heavy (heehee). So when I did a semi-kneel, half-sitting pose, I started writing my prayers down and started to choke. I wasn’t too alarmed because I normally have coughing fits in the morning, especially when my rhinitis acts up, but this particular moment was not ordinary. When I finished my Bible reading and prayer time, I moved back up to bed and finished praying there. My stomach started rumbling again, at first with hunger, then with that weird sensation that I cannot hold it anymore. I prayed that the Lord will comfort me. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply and the next thing I know I was drifting off to sleep.

When I woke up, the pain was gone (even my nasal problems) and I prayed and thanked God for rescuing me.

This caused me to believe that the Lord will do amazing things in the lives of the people I prayed for. I’m not going to stop interceding for them even when the enemy attacks me. What’s the worse that can happen? I die? To live is Christ, to die is gain. 😉