Unbecoming

Did I ever tell you I’m a full-time church worker now? Yes, it’s been almost a year since I joined our church’s staff. (Shameless plug: Visit us at Sampaloc Bible Christian Community!)

I don’t look anything like someone who’d be a church worker, right? Nobody would have guessed I’d be here. Even I wouldn’t have guessed if you asked me two years ago. This is the farthest occupation in my mind. I mean, seriously. Church is for nice people.

In the time I was struggling to maintain sanity in the middle of finding odd people and creatures of the dark from my previous work, I had entertained thoughts about moving elsewhere, of finding a different path apart from media. Don’t get me wrong, working for a big media network has been my dream and I had loved every minute of  it.  It had been fun while it lasted, but I saw no future. If I did not leave then, I will eventually hate that one thing I loved about it and that’s influencing people to live better and to seek what they’re here for.

For some time, my options included working for the government (social work-inclined) or moving to another country and consider a life there, particularly in Korea (which may have been influenced by my K-drama addiction! Hahaha) but nothing came out of those plans.

Anyway, ask me any day why I wanted to work in media and I’d tell you, ‘gusto ko po kasing makatulong sa mahihirap.’ I meant that. I mean that, still. Ask me now why I’m still working, I’d be telling you the same thing.

So… church work. The decision did not come instantly. Believe me, if I had my way, I wouldn’t be here. It took several counseling (hahaha) sessions with Women of Faith in my life before I even thought about considering taking the available church secretary post. Sure it was fun hanging around board meetings but to go full time? I’m so not cut out for it.

I wrote about that phase in my life rather cryptically, haha, and it goes a little something like this…

‘I’m always ready with a good reason to say no. For the longest time, I have mastered sitting idly by and watching from the stands. Seemed like a good place, I’d say. No expectations, no demands, no need to account for my actions.

Ah but when God shakes you, no scale can quantify the magnitude by which the Lord will unsettle you. He will be like a strong quake and immediately a gentle breeze that will assure you it’s His work. All I need was to say yes.

No more no’s left in me, Master. Just as you promised that You equip those You call, be it unto me.’

Here I am. When I think about how fantastic the last year had been, I’m stunned at how involved the God of the Universe is in my life. If I had known I’d be here, like this, happily serving and being smacked right in the middle of opportunities in helping the poor (and my, not just through life but eternity!), I would have said yes immediately. All in God’s time. All in God’s time. 😉

The circumstances aren’t always peachy and I’m far from the ideal but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And why wouldn’t I? The Lord is my inheritance! It can’t get any better than that. 😉

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