I’d like to call this the Manang Code as these beliefs, piled up from years of reading Joshua Harris, Elizabeth Elliot and the whole lot of them writers encouraging ‘waiting for God’s best,’ are probably the reason why my status has not changed since birth.
So now, ladies in my church are all about ’emotional purity.’ A book of that title has been circulating and I have wanted to be able to read this specific literature to see what the fuss is about. From what I gather, emotional purity is a state wherein ladies keep a hold of their emotions in order to avoid impurity in all other aspects. We put a premium on physical chastity; but in order to keep yourself pure, ladies are told to start with their emotions.
Okay, women are prone to the swooning, lovey dovey representation of love and even though a woman is not directly the target of such maneuvers (ie movies where screen actors look at you and for some reason, their lines speak to you), she would feel flabbergasted all the same. And even for Christian ladies, a simple spark like this might (although not necessarily) lead to a real-life longing of having John-Lloyd-eyes ogling at her and mouthing the lines she so wants to hear. Meaning, if she does not grab a solid hold of her kilig neurons running wild, she might (although not necessarily) jump into the next pa-kilig scenario she just might find herself into; never mind that the guy making the moves is even worth two seconds of consideration.
So, Manang. It’s not too difficult to maintain a ‘friendly friends’ relationship with species of the male persuasion if and only if there are no swooney, lovey-dovey attachments into the friendship. The problem then begins when that boy in question suddenly acts differently around a girl, making her aware that well, she is desirable. The bigger problem is when these two people cross the threshold of friendship and denies at which plateau they are suddenly found. ‘We’re just friends,’ has already been sold by Sharon Cuneta and Richard Gomez in the 90s, please, spare me the drama.
Intro-blabbed sorry. Anyway, I have heard countless of times from sisters in the faith that they value emotional purity as much as physical purity, but really, how much of this fact is true when they carelessly ‘hug’ a brother in faith, when this brother has in fact shown special interest. I don’t geddit.
Thus, my manang manifesto. If you’re going to preach it, might as well practice it, eh?
1. Never carelessly throw around the words ‘I love you’ as if showing affection for a new cute puppy. Don’t say it unless you mean it.
Corollary: Occasions you mean it:
1.1 You’re bound for the altar.
1.2 You love someone the way you would love a member of your family.
1.3 You say it to a celebrity’s face; they don’t really take this seriously from a fan anyway.
1.1.1 Never confuse I love you with Thank you or some other expression of gratitude.
2. If you say you’re not entertaining suitors because ‘focusing on God’ is your main priority at this point, learn the art of saying no.
Example: You receive flowers. Gracefully say thank you and ask that this would be the last time your EP will be compromised.
If you’re asked for a group date, demand an expressly written consent from the Queen of Sheba.
3. If you’re not dating for any other reason, and you keep on saying you’re not dating, then don’t effing date.
Events that count as dates:
a. Dinner/Lunch/Coffee with just the two of you.
b. Movie viewing with just the two of you.
c. Strolling anywhere with just the two of you.
d. Get the picture already. Any activity that involves just the two of you must be, at all costs, avoided.
Questions for Understanding: But how do we get to know each other?
Answer: Uh, stalk? Duh, there are ways. Please be creative and not spoon-fed. Gradeschool? O kaya pasagutin mo ng slumbook.
4. Guys that test the water (take you out on considerable dates without specifying intentions) to know whether you’re the one should be blacklisted. Yes, even when he’s nakakakilig.
5. When you’re constantly plus one even when you’re uninvited to a gathering, wonder and ask out loud why he’s taking you. If you’re invited, go but not as his plus one. Have some dignity.
6. If the kilig gets the best of you, hang tightly onto God and do not let a brother sin against you and your emotional purity covenant by encouraging him or opening windows of opportunity. If a guy wants to be with you, he doesn’t need to beat around the bush.
7. Believe that you are worth pursuing and being told you’re pursued even when you don’t drop hints.
8. What’s the rush? (Well, unless October 2011 or December 2012 would really happen, then pfft, throw all your beliefs away)
And with these lines of thought, I believe every Manang will be successfully Manangs until the bone of their bone and the flesh of their flesh has woken up. Trust God for your love life. No, it’s not really appealing but I’d rather this than bend to instant gratification and miss out on something grander.