Most of the time, I do not know what I am doing. Like today, for example, I absent-mindedly grabbed an application form from Starbucks yet again without really intending to fill it out and submit it. I did it because at that moment, I felt like standing up, marching to the condiments counter, grabbing the first thing that was within reach so I could flip through it, head back to the couch, and scan through the contents as if reading them for the first time. I do things like that without thought or reason.
To break the habit, I actually took out a pen to write through the spaces like I would a slum book. Except for the boring details, I had fun writing down what I know about my self, my history of employment and education and smiled at the thought that I looked good on paper. On paper. Like that actually amounts to something.
Why do I feel the need to restart? Whether a blog (whaduyuknow, I’m on wordpress now), color schemes, a career, mode of transporation (haha, good luck talaga dito), there’s this overhaul I feel like doing; a certain level of purging that I have to accomplish just so I can say I am starting a new era and I want everything to be new.
As always, I fail to make my point. I swear I forget where my thoughts are going once I have said them out loud. One of the setbacks of doing things without thinking them through, this is. And gee, that sounded like something Yoda would say except that it wasn’t philosophical.
Maybe I want to work in Starbucks because it has the word star on it, yatheenk? Or maybe because the words DREAM VENTI are splashed on the brochure cover and these have got to be two of my favorite words. Like I told my ate who applied as well, I have probably bought a gazillion items from this store to cover for my salary.
I’m rambling again, sorry.
What do you want to hear from me? Maybe you should tell me what I could write about because my creative juices have run dry. Pfft.